Dyslexia Prevails

The End of Year Best Pat was a 'car fire' where she forgot to mention it was in an attached garage.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Dispatches police to a fight at 601 West Sumner

no such address

Oh well, try La Rosita Grocery

Undercover Wrestling Gang Sign Instructor

December 17, 2011    Harvard High School

Excellence in Communications

Local communicator receives yet another award

Friday, October 14, 2001 at about 5:15 pm

How long does it take to make cottage cheese?

.... sometimes 5 minutes if you are hard to wake up, sometimes 12 minutes

No license, no insurance, no problemo in Harvard

No man is above the law and no man is below it: nor do we ask any man's permission when we require him to obey it.

-Theodore Roosevelt

Bachman and Perry Pander Gay Votes

Two religious freaks, when it is convenient for their position, show off well honed skills.  They make as much sense as "Abstinence Sarah" who was pregnant when married and her 16 year old daughter off in a tent with the drop out.  Maybe you can pray the gay away, but how can you just say no to a corn dog?

Suspect Purchase

Why would a small municipality need three of these?

The Crystal Ball

Regular drinks at Bopp's with the lick her commissioner nets a City Council seat.  Cradling a few balls lets you get the city to pay for your benefits that do nothing for the community, but keep your salary up there and your kids at the trough.  Another fine use of tax payer dollars.

Specials friends allowed open burn

Sunday, September 25, 2011 at 9 am

That Burning Ring of Fire

Nauseation with wallet biopsy

A patient had no complaints of 'nauseation' on Thursday, September 22, 2011 following an 8:41 am two motor vehicle accident.  Too bad the medical linguist didn't remember the criteria for use of a trauma center or relate it was a 50 mph head on collision with extrication.  After a local wallet biopsy, the patient was found to have a broken neck and got to pay for a helicopter flight.

Food Bank Opens

New Harvard Food Bank

New food bank to feature wider than normal parking spaces to accommodate Escalades and luxury vehicles safely.

New Radio Technique

Police are now using a technique popular in Mexico. In lieu of intelligible radio transmissions, the microphone is rubbed against ones anatomy to create a scratching sound.

Valley High Drool Fest

Local long term care facility to sponsor Drool Fest.  Described as a way to promote local bloggers, Drool Fest is an annual event and forum for local politicians.

A local blogger and consipiracy theorist has agreed to speak on the use of sensual urinals by persons convicted of sex offenses.  In his presentation "I don't mind living with a child molester," Russ Pisspot will present sensual urinals designed to be functional and stimulating.

Timmy Gets a Break

Timmy would like to thank his fire buddies for their interventions to get a break most would never receive.  Am sure he has special thanks for Chief Lead Foot.

New Highway Comes to Harvard

Highway Route 114 comes to Harvard.  Without fanfare or announcements, Highway 114 opened at about 4:21 pm on Friday, September 16, 2011.  The ribbon cutting was done by Harvard's ace dispatcher after she found the announcement under the take out menus and her lost Nextel.  It is good to see decades of incompetence prevail.

Fat Dancing

Loud mouth attorney and self proclaimed "Fat Mom" runs her mouth and speculates in her attempts to influence juries on her "news" program.  Popular amongst those with minimal education, food addictions and couche sitting, Nancy Grace has attempted to swing her exceptionally large ass on Dancing with the Stars.  This loser will do most anything for publicity and ratings.  Perhaps her next event will be with Jenny Craig.

Milk Day Moments

Congressman and Child Support Deadbeat William Walsh explaining to Bob Iftner that he is the elected official now and has no interest in kissing Bob's ass.  Another fading tradition in Harvard.

How Many Chins Are Required to be a McHenry County Republican?

County Board Chair Chin

I just sit around and count money, so fitness isn't important

High school graduation photo used on his insurance business advertising - less chins

Peak physical fitness is important for law enforcement

Most counties have done away with my elected position, but I need the cash

and the free food is good too

 

Showing how conversation and one hand in the chips can be politically correct and that a future modeling sports bras can supplement ones income. One hand in the chips is a good skill for politicians who will no doubt have their fingers in the pie

Another chronically unemployed person wishing to get a paid seat at the trough

Explaining the fine art of the buffet to a potential candidate

Top Republicans meet privately to see just who they will endorse to fill another elected position that should be eliminated, the archaic and out of date coroner system that is just a repository for collecting Republican funds

Dyslexically Disabled Dispatching

This week's favorites are sending police to Harvard Hospital at 109 Garfield and advising fire units that addresses on south Illinois State Route 14 are 'just west of Chemung.' Decades of incompetence supported by relatives.

Special Favors for Special Friends

45.2% and growing

Racing to the scene

The New Harvard Park

Featuring inoperable boats, trailers, trucks and comfortable seating, it is kid safe.  The vehicles have all been disabled mechanically and have flat tires to keep them in position.  Another fine example of city administration making progress at improving their park system.